A Gracious Place

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Fumbling Phlebotomist

Going for my blood test Monday was quite the fiasco! As I leave from work during my lunch break (sixty minutes) I realize that I need a dollar for parking. So I think well I will just stop off at the ATM and get some cash, but as I get to the last screen it says there will a be a two dollar charge and a possible charge from my bank. Well what’s this charge from my bank all about…I already had a problem with being charged two dollars to get one dollar. So I ask the security guard at the desk on my way out if he knows of a Bank of America near by. I waste 6 minutes waiting for him to look it up and then I decide this is way too complicated and taking too long- I will just have to go and hope the parking guy accepts debit cards…or plead for mercy promising to pay double next time. As I am driving to the hospital I realize that the requisition form for the lab work is in my car…which DAN has today! No problem, he’s at home studying and I can get a dollar from him while I am at it. I get home and Dan is not there, the car is not there! Eeek…think, think, think…I decide I just better high tail it to the hospital so I can stop by my doc and get a new form and then get to the lab, no time to run inside and dig through our Jar-O-Change looking for a dollar. So I finally get to the hospital and RUN inside because I remember that if I am out in 15 minutes I won’t have to pay anything! Thankfully my doc’s office is right beside the lab. Mary prints me off another form and I fly into the lab. Praise the Lord! There is no WAIT! I jump in the seat, roll up my sleeve and mentally prepare as the phlebotomist makes a copy of my insurance card. She drops the copy and fumbles with the card and apologetically says, “I’m all thumbs today”. I try to look as calm as possible and smile sweetly like I didn’t notice what she said, but inside I am thinking “WHAT! You have got to be kidding me! You are going to stick me with a needle and you are ‘all thumbs today’!” That has to be the number one worst thing a phlebotomist can say…except maybe, "Can you show me where your vein is? My eyesight is not so good." As she’s collecting my blood I watch the clock counting down my fifteen minutes. She does surprisingly well with all of her thumbs. It is over quickly and is relatively painless. I thank her politely and make a mad dash out of there. Noticing three people now in the waiting room, I’m glad I ran! Down the elevator and out the door, I fear the guy in front of me handing in his parking ticket is asking for directions. “Come ooooon!!! Time is money!” As I hand my parking ticket to the parking girl, I look at the clock- in my estimation it’s been 13 minutes and 54 seconds. She says “Thank you. Have a nice day!” And I drive off before she has a chance to change her mind, getting back to work with a few minutes to spare.